The life you want is just around the corner...
Why is it so hard to be happy?
We all grew up learning that we are at the mercy of our circumstances, and if everything doesn't line up just so, then there is no way to truly be happy. But that is simply not true. You have so much more say in this than you think. Of course there are circumstances in our lives that are not in our control, and of course those circumstances impact us. This is the human experience. But so much of the suffering in our life goes beyond that. We compound the normal pain of being a human with so much confusion, overwhelm, anxiety, guilt, pressure, self-pity, self-doubt, and enormous amounts of shame.
That is where most of unhappiness comes from, my friend, not your circumstances. And that in itself can leave you exhausted, unmotivated, and feeling completely hopeless.
But here is the good news. All that extra suffering is created in your brain. And why is that good news, you might ask?
Well, that is something YOU CAN control. You might not be able to change all your circumstances, but you can change your brain.
That's where I come in. I will help you reprogram your brain, so that it stops being your worst enemy and becomes your greatest asset.
Given the right direction, your brain is your most powerful tool. It has the power to...connect with your deepest desires and then come up with creative solutions to make those seemingly impossible desires happen. It can help fuel your body with passion and determination that has you staying committed to yourself, no matter the challenges you face. You will have access to your Inner Knowing, helping you feel certain and confident in taking that next step.
Now, at this point, you might be thinking that this all just a sales pitch, that it's too good to be true, which makes sense. It does sound too good to be true. Because sadly, we have been socialized to believe a different story. We have been taught we are victims to our circumstances. That we have no real power to feel different in our lives unless certain situations change. That the only hope we have is if everyone behaves better and everything is just right, then we can be happy.
The result- we spend precious energy trying to change the things we can't control (everything and everyone outside of us) while neglecting the thing we CAN control (ourselves), leaving us feeling desperate, hopeless, and powerless in our own lives.
We fall into a vicious cycle of hopelessness.
Phase 1:
Our brain puts up a lot of resistance to change.
We get to a place of deciding something has to change. We try and figure out what to do, but we immeditately feel overwhelmed by all the logistics. We make plan after plan, only to doubt that it is even the right decision. We are flooded with all the "what-if's" and worst-case-scenarios, leaving us afraid to even take that first step.
But, we still push through because the pain of staying the same is greater than change. So then...
Phase 2:
Our brain will quiet the resistance and begin trying to "fix" the source of pain.
Our brain searches for the person, place, or thing that is causing the pain like a detective, sniffing out the source, and then coming up with a plan to fix or get rid of that thing in our life.
We change careers, end relationships, move locations, go on diets, download a scheduling app, etc., hoping that the pain will go away and we will finally be happy.
But...
Phase 3:
We realize changing our circumstances did not take away the pain or make us happy.
When all is said and done, we find we are still unsatisfied, still stressed, still overwhelmed. And now, we compound that pain with disappointment, discouragement, and hopelessness, leaving us in more pain that we were before.
And the cycle repeats itself.
No Wonder people hate change.
But what if I told you that you can be happy without changing any of the circumstances in your life? That you could be happy even if those around you don't change their behavior? That there is a kind of change that CAN create the peace, confidence, and true joy that you so desperately want?
WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO GO ALL IN?