“No Finish Line in Sight”
For 2024, I have set some really big goals for myself. When I was going through the process of envisioning and dreaming and writing it all down, it felt so exciting. I felt invigorated by the idea of it all. I kept thinking, smiling, “What if I could actually do this? That would be AMAZING.”
But while I was envisioning the thrill of accomplishing the end goal, I wasn’t really considering what it would require of me to get there, which was probably a good thing. Had I thought about that, I would have quickly dismissed all of it as too hard and too scary and continued in what I felt confident and comfortable doing.
Now, only 3 months in, and I am feeling how far this is stretching me out of my comfort zone. Self-doubt seems to be my constant companion these days. And let me just say, it doesn’t feel great. In fact, it is really, really uncomfortable.
You would think being a change coach, I would have found a way to bypass all this insecurity and overwhelm. Alas, I have not.
After all, this is the human experience. It always has been and always will be. This is life. There is no point when I will no longer feel the pain and discomfort of expanding myself and growing into that next version of me. When I stop growing, I cease to be alive.
I recently gave a training on this exact subject- about how life is all about growth. And all growth starts with the phase of not knowing what you are doing, being stretched beyond your current capacity, and making multiple mistakes- none of which are pleasurable experiences.
But neither is the alternative- staying stuck in complacency, limiting myself, and being bored out of my mind at doing the same thing day in and day out. I guess that is an option, but honestly, that sounds worse. If I am going to experience pain either way, I rather it be for a good purpose.
So, I choose growth. I choose the pain that leads me to something greater. I choose to lean in and feel it all.
And in the moments when the visceral insecurities show their faces (as they do a lot these days), I will extend myself some compassion. I will remind myself this is part of being alive. I will quiet my impatience to get out of the discomfort by reminding myself that there is no finish line I’m racing towards. New growth (aka new insecurities and fears) is always just around the corner.
And that, my friend, is a good thing.