I have recently been reading a book that I think might be one of my all-time favorites. It’s called “This Here Flesh”, and it has rocked my world (in a good way). One of the chapters is on Wonder, which has unexpectedly had a profound impact on my life. I’d like to share a little excerpt from it…
“When we grow accustomed to neglecting beauty, we eventually become creatures of hatred. We lose our imagination- a virtue to which wonder is helplessly tied. Why care for the barren land? Why advocate for justice in a system predicated on injustice? We become so accustomed to that bitter taste that we can taste nothing else. Slowly, even mirrors feel like an oppression. We become unable to conceive of anything worthwhile in our own image until we empty ourselves of all beauty and turn against our own bodies in disgust…
…When we wonder, we loosen the cords that restrain our love. And the people most in love with a thing are prone to become its fiercest protectors.”
-Cole Arthur Riley
This hit me hard. I talk a lot about intentional living and thinking on purpose. But, somehow, I forgot the importance of wonder in the mix of it all. It's one thing to turn my focus AWAY from things I don’t want, but an entirely different thing to turn my focus TOWARDS beauty. For example, it would be not just shutting down negative self-talk, but also acknowledging what is lovely and beautiful about me. Not just dropping judgment of others, but taking time to recognize the dignity and honor in each of them.
But, this confession is all about being real, so I must confess, saying that is one thing. Doing it is another. In fact, it sounds exhausting to work that hard to make that big of a shift. So, this week, I committed to just starting where I find it the easiest- in nature! I committed to opening my eyes and seeing, allowing myself to wonder. And I was amazed at what I saw.
How have I not seen all the little bugs dancing in the morning sunlight, making the sky look like it's filled with a thousand little fairies until today? How come I never noticed that sunlight hitting the ripples in the lake looks like hundreds of fireflies, dancing on the top of each wave? How could I possibly kill this wasp now that I have looked at the beautiful contrast of yellow and black on its sleek body?
I didn’t know what to expect from this experiment. But I have been utterly surprised at how much I have smiled. An endless upward curve has graced my lips, and it feels amazing!
I know I have a long way to go. But I am beginning to allow myself to wonder, much like I did when I was a kid. And it feels like something is lighting me up on the inside.
Let me be clear, this doesn’t negate all the tragedies that I see and lament over in our world, which can feel crushing at times. But allowing myself to be filled with wonder, amid the hard, somehow makes the burden feel easier, the lamenting purer. And I think we can all use a little bit of that!
Who’s with me?
Faith Hoskins
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